Captains Log: Day 23. {Can you tell I’ve been binge watching Starship Enterprise?]
I wanted to write these posts as a way for me to document how I feel during this unprecedented time. Never in a million years would I have guessed our whole world would be shut down because of a deadly virus. The whole world is shut down. Good grief.
There have been some pretty horrific events in my lifetime, but none as personal as this. And even though I’m safe, my family is safe, my husband is employed, and we are all healthy, the never-ending anxiety because of the unknowns have been wreaking havoc on my mental health.
First, let me just put it out there that I’m so grateful for my situation. I have it easy, really.
I get to stay at home.
I can read books, sit out on my back deck, binge watch sitcoms (comedy only), journal, exercise on my treadmill, do yoga from the internet, bake bread, muffins, cookies or anything else I can conjure up with a bit of flour, eggs, sugar and butter. I have enough food for the next two weeks (at least). I have a roof over my head and a soft bed to fall into at night.
Other people have it much harder. Some have lost loved ones. Some have lost their incomes. Some are putting themselves at risk every day by working in hospitals, doctors’ offices, grocery stores, pharmacies, etc. so that we may be cared for and fed. I am thankful and grateful and will never take grocery shopping for granted again.
However, it’s Day 23 under ‘stay at home order’ but it feels like Day 103.
Even with my ‘easier’ life, there has been debilitating fear. Some days I’m scared to go grocery shopping, I’m scared to have packages delivered, and I’m scared of the air I breathe when I take my dog for a walk. It’s been a challenge to carry on my routines and normal behaviors.
Thankfully, other days have been good. I hope to have more of the good, and less of the bad in the days to come. I pray that this invisible monster goes away, and things will get back to a ‘new’ normal. (Because clearly we will all never be quite the same again.)
If you are finding this situation hard to navigate, you are not alone.
We will get through this. #inthistogether
JOURNEY TO RETIREMENT 
I feel the same way. I’m an introvert by nature, so I’m not feeling too uncomfortable with the loss of social contact, but the anxiety and worrying about my family becoming ill is tough. My husband is an anesthesiologist, and because they are on the front lines intubating, he decided at age 63 to retire 6 months earlier than anticipated. My oldest son had to cancel his wedding, and my youngest is in medical school and will begin his third year going into hospitals this summer. I’m praying things are better by then. My middle son is holed up alone in Los Angeles, in a high rise, and hasn’t really seen anyone for weeks. So although we are all ok, we really aren’t ok. This entire surreal experience has devastated so many people around the world- it truly seems like WWIII. There are no words.
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Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry about your son and his wedding. Also, I completely understand how you feel about your son in LA. My son is in San Diego on a naval base in quarantine. He will be going to Washington (Seattle area) for his ship, so the worrying is never ending. I’m glad your husband retired, that should relieve a bit of the worry. I’m so grateful to the medical professionals taking care of the sick. They truly are the heros. It is surreal, that’s for sure.
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thank you for this post….
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This is my 3rd week working from home. I’m an introvert by nature so I don’t mind being at home. I’ve been taking 2 walks/day to get outside for fresh air and exercise; one aspect of this whole situation that I’m enjoying. And, I’ve seen so many people out – – I wonder if this is a change that will stick, especially for families that aren’t running to/from activities right now.
My husband is in law enforcement and his job has changed – they’ve been told to make traffic stops only if absolutely necessary, to be the “back-up” on medical calls (let the EMS personnel be the 1st on scene), etc. so it makes for long days in the car for him. Since this has started, he’s been wondering when the domestic calls will start coming in and we’ve seen in the news that some metro areas are now beginning to report an increase in domestic violence calls. He’s also said that we will probably see a surge in the birth rate in 9 months….from one extreme to another.
Yes, unprecedented times for sure.
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I’m sure the millennials will be the new baby boomers after this. LOL. Praying for your husband’s safety! (especially with possible domestic violence 😦 ). I was taking nice long walks until it became stressful with loads of people out walking. Normally it would be fine, but not these days. I work out on treadmill, and read books out on my back deck while listening to the birds. It works for now.
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